Welcome home?

Just returned home from a year in another foreign country, and this time guess what... I somehow got shingles, pulled my groin muscle and have spent my block leave in and out of the hospital! The Mrs. Is not happy, and I am certainly not happy. This sucks! On a lighter note, I am super happy to be back, and morphine is not all it is cracked up to be. Took two hits of that and one of some "Phenegran" to ease the pain and allow me to have a conversation.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Babysitters Club

I have discovered the greatest drawback to my current position. I am officially a glorified babysitter. I have a Soldier that is having some marital issues. I would say that "some" is an understatement, but I don't want to overdramatize the issues they are having.

In their defense, they were married very young due to an unplanned pregnancy. It would be a very touching story of high school sweethearts if you would stop telling the story once you hit about 5 months ago. It was about that time that their less than perfect existence together became even more tumultuous.

Fast forward a few weeks. I begin receiving phone calls from my Soldiers wife and mother-in-law. Apparently it is assumed that I can force all of my Soldiers to do anything that their pissed off relatives want them to. Apparently it is common knowledge that I listen less to the people that I serve with in the face of the enemy than I do their family members.. It is apparently expected that a spouse can call me and I will make the Soldier do the dishes, or vacuum the living room for them. I am so glad my wife missed that training, I can only guess how often she would have called someone to get me to sweep a floor or water her plants.

I wish I would have known about this apparently inherent responsibility. Getting phone calls from families that claim my Soldier has stopped upholding his financial and worse his paternal responsibilities. As I sit and unwillingly listen to the various voices on the other side of the line, all saying the same messages, just different words and voices, I realize that there is NOTHING I can do about any of this. My Soldier is truly not worthy of my support at this point. I am obligated to listen to all of the childish actions that my Soldier does and I am responsible to find ways to try and help him through this horrendous time in his life. I have NO desire to do any of this. I have no idea how to help him grow when EVERYTHING that I have tried to do has failed.

I don't know how to right this, nor do I truly care to right this. I just simply want to continue believing that people are generally good. This Soldier has made a habit of telling me what I want to hear, and going to his spouse and mother-in-law and telling them something TOTALLY different. How do I trust a person like this with my life, and the lives of my other Soldiers. I am upset with this Soldier, and I do not know how to correct this.

The most wonderful thing about this scenario is that whenever he messes up it is considered his Leader's fault. Never mind if you were even in the same city or state at the time of the incident.

This morning I received a phone call from a friend of this Soldiers wife. She was very quick to tell me how they had left my Soldier with his children last night because of how he was acting towards his wife yesterday. She shut up very quickly when I asked if she had an understanding of how many hours of another Soldiers life she and my Soldiers wife had wasted by doing that. My Soldier was scheduled to work last night, and since they left him with the kids, we had to call another Soldier who was planning a fun night out with friends to come in and work for his "Battle-buddy". Yeah, take that bitch, don't call me acting so fucking high and mighty, like my Soldier is the lONLY bad person in this ordeal. You are not as righteous as you think you are. No apology followed, no remorse was heard in her voice, in fact it was quite the opposite. It was as if she became defensive, that it was his fault for what they had done. Did I mention that my Soldier is in his VERY early 20's, and his wife EVEN YOUNGER?!

Times like this make me very happy that my wife has stuck with me for the past 12 years even without calling my superiors to try and get her way. 4 years left. I eagerly welcome the days that I sit longing for these types of issues again. I shall remember this post and remind myself of just how irritating this job is!

Update. Last night I received a phone call that that Soldier and his wife had a fight, and both were being charged by the police. SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! I am glad I am on pass this weekend, time for someone else to do the babysitting.


- Posted from my iPhone

Geek points galore!!!

I am currently typing this post on my wireless keyboard that is linked to my iPhone via bluetooth, while sitting in the office during lunch. Yeah, I will be wearing the "Geek Inside" shirt this weekend and actually living up to it! I have been using it to type text messages and send them to people. In this new immense building that our unit moved into, AT&T gives me NO signal unless my phone is docked in my radio thingy, hence typing on a keyboard and tapping the screen to send. My response time for even this longest of texts has been reduced dramatically!!! My Soldiers have even commented on how GEEKY this is, and I relish the fact!!

I love MACs!!!


- Posted from my iPhone

Microhelp

I am a die hard MAC lover, through and through. The ONLY 2 reasons I deal with Microsoft at all is due to work, and my XBOX. I am starting to rethink one of those uses entirely. I am locked out of my hotmail account, which inadvertently causes an issue with my XBOX live account. I have done some crap online to try resolving the issue, but that has done little more than piss me off.

I wanted to call Microsoft support on the phone but of course they don't list the fucking number ANYWHERE. I did however find a number on the XBOX live support site. I called them. The woman I spoke to was great. She tried everything she could think of. Alas, her ideas were also doomed to fail. She did however have the phone number to Microsoft support. So I called. Guess what!! They have an automated system that doesn't listen for shit! That should have given me a clue, but no, I ignored it. So, after about 10 minutes of touch pad navigation through the verbal maze of misery I finally get transferred to a live person.... Presumably in a third world country who apparently studied English for a few days.

As I am not trying to come across as an ass, I will just divulge my half of the conversation...

Hello (spell last name 3 times)
(spell first name 2 times + 1 time phonetically)
I need to unlock my account
No, that isn't what I said. I need to UNLOCK my account.
Yes I did all that online already... Yes I did. I did that already. Yes I did that too... No just unlock it... I already made a new account... No, I need to get into my old account to link my XBOX account to my new account... Yes I told you I did that... Fine, I am going back to that website... See I did this already... What do you mean you can't verify my identity?... I'll hear from a supervisor in the next 24 hours?
-holding breath-


For you being so ABSOLUTELY UNHELPFUL subtract 10 points!

I loathe Microsoft!!! I will be so happy when I can amputate that word and system from my life!


- Posted from my iPhone

Autobots or Decepticons or Autobots... Whoever, Roll Out!!!

We went to see Transformers: Dark of the Moon last weekend, and we saw this dude!  Seriously guy, you are sporting the haircut of the movie you are going to see?  DON'T BE THAT GUY!  P.S. He had the Autobot symbol on the other side of his head.  Playing both sides huh?!! Seems like a trend....  Subtract 20 geek points!  10 points for each symbol.

Back to school

With the new school year upon us, I have an interesting empathy with the boys this time around. I will be heading to school the same day they do this year. I will be going to a school that is essentially the next level above the one I instructed for two years.

Although it is not my "first rodeo". I still find myself having some of the same feelings that I had so many years ago. Almost like I am excited about the possibilities, but at the same time nervous about the unknown. Fortunately my school will only last 2 months. Of course the hours will be a bit longer than the kiddos, but I am sure that I will have the same calibre of social misfits in my class.

That's really the one thing that I found so funny while instructing. My students were all somewhere between 23 and 45 years old (27 was the average age), yet they all acted like children when put together. You get the same social classes that existed in high school. That's probably why I like this song so much.

Does this sound like anyone you know?

Random voice: "How's your iPhone? Mine sucks, I am having tons of problems with it. It's slow as shit."

Voice of reason: "Have you updated the firmware, or even rebooted it...ever?"

Random voice: "HUH???!!!"

Voice of reason: "Nothing, it was a joke." (Under breath: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?)

As a bit of a spouse labled "Techie", please if you know anyone that fits this description, please talk them out of any future purchases of anything with buttons, and powered by electricity.

If you don't, dont say I didn't warn you!!!

-UPDATE-

I understand that this sounds a bit "ruthless", so let me explain. Random voice has had the iPhone for almost 2 full years now. Voice of Reason has explained all of this to random on at least 5 different occassions, each time Random looks like a deer in the headlights...

Random has also called Reason to be "walked-through" the updating process. Reason obliged. This phone call was on the weekend, and Random just happens to be a person that has a "Super?visory" role over Reason. I chalk this up to a case of, if you CAN'T understand it after it is explained, demonstrated, and performed with you, FORGET IT!!!

P.S. Here is Random's actual signature block... NOTE THE QUOTE AT THE END!!!!!

V/R,
(rank) Random
(title)
e-mail: Random
(address)
"Tell me and I forget; show me and I remember; involve me and I understand."

Additional "Doody" (like poop get-it???) ;)

In my profession we have these things called "additional duties" that are not really what you do on a daily basis, but is other shit that you may or may not be trained for and are most assuredly held responsible for. Basically it is something that needs to be done, that no one wants to do, and we can't afford to hire some extra schmo to do this job.

My favorite "additional duty" is supply. Yes this thing that I don't really do everyday is basically all I have done for the past few days of work. Every morning someone decides they need a new pen, then about 3 hours later someone needs a paper clip, then someone fucks me all up asking for shit that I have never heard of, I can't think of what it was she said right now, but turns out it was a stand for her computer monitor. (Did you know you can adjust the height with the stand it came with?) "Oh yes, I just like the space it gives me under the monitor (to pile more non-work related shit into my cube!!!!!)

Now supply is an entirely different profession than what I am trained in and the guy that handed me the reigns of this ball of shit had NO clue how to account for things, like, he didn't even have the right serial numbers on stuff. I know, I know, just let me rant, or stop reading...

So today, I get tasked with the joyous chore of unfucking these 3 computers. Don't ask what is wrong with them, they were put in a closet, and that is all I know about them. Well first thing first let me see who they belong to...wait, I don't have a record of those serial numbers...WTF!!!??? How the fuck does this happen? "Well do you have "Jerry's" (actual name withheld to ensure your plausible deniability) phone number? Call him and see what the deal was with them." My reply (in my head of course) "You fucking call him! I am not calling this chode in NY to find out why he didn't do something else that he should have."

2 hours later I found out that they were supposed to be turned in a year ago. ( I took over from this guy 2 months ago) Oh by the way, you will have to type a memo stating the reason they did not get turned in when they were supposed to. Can I say "shithead", "asshole", "ass-munching rim job", "ass-clown", or even just plain "fuck stick" in a memo?

Are you serious??!!!

Today the guy that sits across from me came back to work after being gone since mid December. The guy is nice and all, but I swear, all he talks about is football. He is a huge cowboys fan, like the kind of guy that would do something like this if there was a "Cowboy" truck. I forgot how annoying his tirades could be!

"I don't want the Steelers to win, because I don't want them to get 6 rings before the Cowboys do."

Seriously dude?! Is it that important to you? I totally understand loving your team but this guy never shuts up about his team. Each loss was chalked up to poor calls by the officiating crew or the other team cheating somehow. Nothing was fair if they lost. 

I am sure you can understand how irritating this might get after an entire season.  I just hope he doesn't start watching NASCAR..."oh look there making another left turn!!!"  (start at 1:00 mark and watch till you wanna stop.)

Objects in the rear view

It all makes sense. Why do I hate tailgaters and speed demons and stupid drivers so much? Well today I figured it out. When we redeployed from Iraq, my gunner was on leave and was killed in a car accident. He was with 2 of his friends and his fiancé going through an intersection when they were t-boned by a drunk driver who ran a red light. Now this kid was hit by 6 IEDs in the year prior and lived through every one. Only to be killed in his home town by some drunk fuck?!!!  

When we redeployed from Afghanistan, my best friend and I both moved to where I am now. Several (like 5) months after we got here, he was killed in a car accident. Unfortunately I can't blame a drunk though, because he was sober. He was just driving too fast. So 2 people that I have gone to combat with; both made it home, only to be killed at home by stupidity. 

So if you are ever tailgating someone and they turn around and look you in the eye and mouth the words "what the fuck".... nice to meet you!

Sleep overs

The oldest had a friend sleepover Saturday. All was fine, but I am starting to wonder if there are rules or unspoken norms that parents are supposed to know about when having other kids spend the night. I mean when and if it is appropriate to yell at your kid in front of his friend? And how exactly do you "kindly" remind your little angel that he is not Billy Bad-Ass and that you are tired of his "I always act like this to my stupid parents" antics. I am quite certain that all of these are reasons that I never had a friend spend the night while I was a kid, but I am sure that I am not the only one with these questions. I mean do you just put discipline on hold and then let him have it once the guest leaves, or do you just make empty threats or punish your kid and the one spending the night by taking stuff away (like my favorite:  video games)?

For some reason it just feels wrong to take away something from the kid who is spending the night just because mine can't or won't behave. I also think that it would be beneficial discipline wise to embarrass him from time to time by taking away their fun because he was being a butt.

I am torn because I see good and bad in both instances, and I am just not sure which way is the best.

Any ideas???

Your IOU

All you have to do is click on the title of this post and be whisked away into teeny-bopper hell!  The clip is super long, but all I ask is that you watch the first minute.  Now tell me that didn't like make you like laugh like totally like hard, and stuff.

Months Later

I tried to post this last night using my iPhone, and a program called lifecast, but life cast sucks ass, so here is what I typed but did not post...

Wow, it's been a while; huh?

So I guess the first thing would be to say thank you for not giving up on this blog and its "hit and miss" author. I can only hope that my love of technology and my sometimes inability to master it doesn't keep me from keeping you entertained.

Doesn't it sound strange when you say the same word twice I the same sentence? Kind of like saying: “if I do do American Idol, wait like I just totally said do do American Idol.” For those of you that know what I am talking about, you know you laughed. Those that are clueless, sorry but I can’t do links from my iPhone, consider this a foreshadowing of California’s tax returns….IOU!!!

Now I know that I just posted this on a computer, but if I try to link it, I fear the guys in black would come in and take me. And I am not the type of guy to get a cell phone delivered mere seconds before they get here.

Shhh... Don't Tell!

I am supposed to be at work right now, but I really don't see any point in going back, just to sit there and PRETEND to do work while I surf the net and do everything but work!!!

I think what I hate more than anything is that I actually feel guilty about not going back. Even though I know that no one will call me, and it is not likely that anyone will even notice that I am gone.

Well, here's to "bucking the system"!!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!!

Posted with LifeCast

Using It At Work While I Am Supposed To Be Doing Other Things.

I like the handiness (if that's even a word) of this app. I can sit at my computer (that won't let me on blogger, due to proxies) and blog from my phone. Although of is obvious that I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing.

This could be very therapudic in the weeks to come.

Posted with LifeCast

Sitting In The Basement

I downloaded a new free app for my iPhone and decided to test it while on "monster watch". I assume it will work?!!!!

Posted with LifeCast

Look at the size of the STINGER!!!!

This ugly, huge fucking thing was found in our porch this evening.  The coin next to the big stingy buzzy thing is a 100 Won piece from South Korea, it is the size of a Quarter.  No, before you ask I don't know who the old guy on the coin is, and I REALLY don't care.  All I know is that if the guy on the coin was alive, he was scared 

shitless to be placed next to that gigantic "stinger"!!!

  Of course it was dead when I found it, otherwise, this post would look more like this...

Click For Sound, 

but beware that it will take you to another site, because I cannot get the fucking thing to embed!!!!!

That's what I get

So today I decided that I would focus on the lessons and avoid going overboard with the teaching stuff. We got done at about 2:45 and I released my students earlier than ever. The other class was already gone, but only by about 5 or 10 minutes. 

So I get home, and at about 3:30 I get a call from one of my students stating that the MP's are coming to the gate to "talk" to him. It seems that he had a disagreement with the gate guard and the MP's had to come. Now bear in mind that 3:30 is the absolute earliest we are ever supposed to release our students. Here it is, 3:30 and this fucking shithead is in civies, at the gate and getting the MP's called on him! WTF is he thinking? Damn moron.

Anyway, nothing came of it, it just illustrates how shit can bite you in the ass. I can safely say that they will not get released before 4:00 again.

The reason that this was such a big deal was that if the issue had been pushed by the MP's I would have been in deep shit for releasing them so early. So I would be reprimanded for releasing them early because one dumbass wanted to be a fucking retard.

Good but not Great

Today in classic RUSTY NAIL fashion, I was again told that I would be going to work for my old boss.  As soon as RUSTY NAIL told me that, I sent an email to the guy and verified it with him.  This time it was actually the truth.  One unexpected thing was that I am supposed to report to this new job immediately after we graduate this class.  By immediately, I mean we graduate at 1100, and right after I shake all their sweaty hands, I go to my new job.  It's like they can't wait to kick me out the door.  If I wasn't teaching I would probably already be there.

After a discussion with Kaytabug, we have decided that my future boss shall be known as:  SERGEANT HARTMAN.

Background on SGT Hartman - The DI from Full Metal Jacket 

Normally when people leave this organization, they get a farewell luncheon and a rather expensive plaque that everyone chips in for to thank them for a good job.  With the accelerated plan that they seem to have in mind for getting rid of me, I doubt that I will receive such a luncheon or farewell.  And how is this not supposed to be depressing?  To know without a shadow of doubt that those you have to call peers DON'T want you around.  Why even show up anymore?!!!  

I am happy about going to work for someone other than RUSTY NAIL, but not at all happy about how it is happening.

What is the point?

Here I am back in the classroom and I suddenly feel out of my element. The other Small Group Leader that I am working with always seems to get done with his lessons sooner than I do. He regularly releases his students at about 1430-1500 (2:30-3 p.m.) everyday, while I keep my class until about 1600-1630 (4-4:30 p.m.) everyday. We teach the same stuff, but I take longer to get through it.

I can't imagine that he is able to cut the prescribed time for the lesson as much as he does. The lessons are timed and we are supposed to stick to that time as best as we can.I cut the classes early already, but only by about 30 minutes or so, he cuts them by and hour or sometimes 2 or even 3 hours. None of his students failed the first test. 4 of my students failed. How can he possibly be doing this? I wonder if he does not teach the test or review it with them before they take it. His students even found answers to questions that aren't even covered by the lesson plan. I want to know how.

When he releases his class a full hour before I am read to release my class, I feel like I am wasting their time. But then again their unit sent them here to learn, not to get off at 3 everyday. My students all claim that they like how I teach compared to the way my partner teaches, since he covered for me last week so I could go on pass.

I know why it takes me so long to teach and I don't think that it is a bad thing. I like to teach them things that are not in the lessons, things like no-nonsense leadership and professional development. I think that it is implied that we teach them these things, and explain it in a way that they all can understand. I am not only concerned with teaching them what is on the test, I want to make them the best leaders that they can be. Is that wrong? And isn't that why we are hand-picked for this position?

All these strong feelings and I am still listed as "Excess Personnel". Yeah what a great feeling to see the uselessness of others in this job, but I am the one getting pushed out. What does that say about the future of this course? No one cares about the greater good anymore, just worried about how early they can get off and the ability to ignore their students and the responsibility to train them.

Good luck explaining the downfall of the course next year "Rusty Nail"!

In closing a quote from Gen (Ret.) Collin Powell's 18 Lessons in Leadership

"Command is lonely."

Harry Truman was right. Whether you're a CEO or the temporary head of a project team, the buck stops here. You can encourage participative management and bottom-up employee involvement but ultimately, the essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices that will have an impact on the fate of the organization. I've seen too many non-leaders flinch from this responsibility. Even as you create an informal, open, collaborative corporate culture, prepare to be lonely.

I WONDER WHY IT IS "RUST" COLORED?!!!! Any guesses?!!!

Post Script: They left at 2:00 on the day I posted this. I wasn't done until 4:00.