I have discovered the greatest drawback to my current position. I am officially a glorified babysitter. I have a Soldier that is having some marital issues. I would say that "some" is an understatement, but I don't want to overdramatize the issues they are having.
In their defense, they were married very young due to an unplanned pregnancy. It would be a very touching story of high school sweethearts if you would stop telling the story once you hit about 5 months ago. It was about that time that their less than perfect existence together became even more tumultuous.
Fast forward a few weeks. I begin receiving phone calls from my Soldiers wife and mother-in-law. Apparently it is assumed that I can force all of my Soldiers to do anything that their pissed off relatives want them to. Apparently it is common knowledge that I listen less to the people that I serve with in the face of the enemy than I do their family members.. It is apparently expected that a spouse can call me and I will make the Soldier do the dishes, or vacuum the living room for them. I am so glad my wife missed that training, I can only guess how often she would have called someone to get me to sweep a floor or water her plants.
I wish I would have known about this apparently inherent responsibility. Getting phone calls from families that claim my Soldier has stopped upholding his financial and worse his paternal responsibilities. As I sit and unwillingly listen to the various voices on the other side of the line, all saying the same messages, just different words and voices, I realize that there is NOTHING I can do about any of this. My Soldier is truly not worthy of my support at this point. I am obligated to listen to all of the childish actions that my Soldier does and I am responsible to find ways to try and help him through this horrendous time in his life. I have NO desire to do any of this. I have no idea how to help him grow when EVERYTHING that I have tried to do has failed.
I don't know how to right this, nor do I truly care to right this. I just simply want to continue believing that people are generally good. This Soldier has made a habit of telling me what I want to hear, and going to his spouse and mother-in-law and telling them something TOTALLY different. How do I trust a person like this with my life, and the lives of my other Soldiers. I am upset with this Soldier, and I do not know how to correct this.
The most wonderful thing about this scenario is that whenever he messes up it is considered his Leader's fault. Never mind if you were even in the same city or state at the time of the incident.
This morning I received a phone call from a friend of this Soldiers wife. She was very quick to tell me how they had left my Soldier with his children last night because of how he was acting towards his wife yesterday. She shut up very quickly when I asked if she had an understanding of how many hours of another Soldiers life she and my Soldiers wife had wasted by doing that. My Soldier was scheduled to work last night, and since they left him with the kids, we had to call another Soldier who was planning a fun night out with friends to come in and work for his "Battle-buddy". Yeah, take that bitch, don't call me acting so fucking high and mighty, like my Soldier is the lONLY bad person in this ordeal. You are not as righteous as you think you are. No apology followed, no remorse was heard in her voice, in fact it was quite the opposite. It was as if she became defensive, that it was his fault for what they had done. Did I mention that my Soldier is in his VERY early 20's, and his wife EVEN YOUNGER?!
Times like this make me very happy that my wife has stuck with me for the past 12 years even without calling my superiors to try and get her way. 4 years left. I eagerly welcome the days that I sit longing for these types of issues again. I shall remember this post and remind myself of just how irritating this job is!
Update. Last night I received a phone call that that Soldier and his wife had a fight, and both were being charged by the police. SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! I am glad I am on pass this weekend, time for someone else to do the babysitting.
- Posted from my iPhone
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