Last night Kaytabug again called Dr. Spock at my wishes. I was sitting at the table with her, she had made spaghetti for dinner, and all of our kids were playing outside with the neighbors. I didn't feel like eating but saw her go sit down, so I get up off my ass and go get a bowl of spaghetti and sit down to eat with her. It was an honest gesture, but I froze. I got caught in a moment of not wanting to move. Kaytabug said it was 5 minutes, and truthfully that is the only estimate I have, because I have no idea how long it was. Spock was grateful for the call and agreed to continue with the plan that we talked about earlier yesterday. Again I hate feeling like I am not in control.
So fast forward to this morning. Of course I did the same thing when my phone alarms went off. I finally get to work about 0900, and talk to my peers and my supervisor and tell them to come down to my classroom for a chat. So there I am sitting in my classroom with the 4 guys that I work closest with, and I wrote the term Dysthymia on the white board and listed the symptoms under it.
I spent the next 45 minutes discussing with these 4 guys the thing that has been making me act so strange. I flat out admitted my "weakness". I knew that it was something that I had to do in order to move on and in order to not add guilt to the issues that I am having.
It went well, and I think that it did help, they all seemed relatively open to it. It still felt weird to tell them about all of that. We talked about how I have recently been acting as compared to how I used to act and how my demeanor has changed. I think it was important for me to tell them all of this before the inevitable rumors began.
I picked up the new drug today and take the first dose tonight. Keep your fingers crossed.
Again, thanks for reading...
1 comment:
I haven't heard of that and will have to look it up but I hope the pills work. :)
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