BTDTGTS (Click here, It will make more sense)

Today I went to the hospital for a few tests. I should have known it was going to be a bad day...

This trip required me to do something that I had all but forgotten about since my days in New York...Ride in an elevator. I had forgotten all the little things that go into riding an elevator, like who pushes the button first, that you should ask "what floor" if you are the closest to the button, and even the gradual shifting of bodies in the elevator as it slowly ascends or descends to the desired destination. How passengers poise themselves in preparation for the rest of the journey to their, no-doubt, important final destination.

I realized that I was out of touch with this when I got into the elevator and felt guilty about using it to go up 1 floor, so I road on it to the 3rd floor just so I wouldn't make the guy that was in the elevator wait for any longer than was necessary to get to where he was going. So I disembarked on the 3rd floor, same as the other guy, and realized that the only doors there lead to the Operating Room, Clue #1. Obviously I was not about to go in there, so instead I turned around, hit the down button and waited for the vertical chariot to come back so that I might actually push the right fucking button this time and get these tests over with.

So I got on and pushed the right button this time. and I went to the lab, they took blood, and that was that. Now for the fun part...

*****************Front Desk******************************
Retro: "Uh, hi, could you tell me where I need to go for an EKG?

Receptionist type person: "EKG...isn't that Neurology?" Clue #2

Retro: Muffled under breath (Read my blog and look at the 4th thing down on the left side, print it, cut it out and staple it to your fucking forehead!!)

Retro: "No I think it is Cardio, you know Electrocardiogram"

Receptionist type person: "R U sure?" (typed like that because at this point I really think that is how she would spell it.)

Retro: "Where is there a map so I can look at what departments are where?"

Receptionist type person: "idk (Chat lingo for like "I don't know"(twirl your hair to get the full effect.) I think there is one on the 3rd floor."

Retro: "Where are the stairs?"

Receptionist type person: :idk...But the elevator is right there!"

Retro: (again under his breath) I hope I am not expected to give her a treat for a correct answer or something... "THANK YOU" sarcasmsarcasmsarcasmsarcasmsarcasm

3rd Floor, Nice brick walls, nice Operating Room doors, no map.

LOST: 1 Soldier, last seen elevator from HELL!!!

Tune in next time for:
"now where the hell did I put that EGK?"
OR
"FYI, the FAQ desk HTH, TWIMC, DIY, NRN"